Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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