How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
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