So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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