Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
