When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
