She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
