he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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