omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Randomize
