He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
