Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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