Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
