I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
