i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
