I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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