its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
