Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
