The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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