i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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