I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Pappa wants mamma naked
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
