Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
