Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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