id be glad to
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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