I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
