I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
