I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
