Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
