There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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