You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
