And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
