Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
