Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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