I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
