he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
