How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
