Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
