I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
You don't make any sense
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