Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
