She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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