there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
