Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
