my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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