as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
