I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
