when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
