Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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