"it" just moved
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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