I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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