he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Dear god my vagina.
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