he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
