Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
