im having a threesome with these popsicles
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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