Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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